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Marriage After Baby

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Cara Dumaplin

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Let's get real about relationships and marriage after baby. 

As I read these words from a new mama, my heart broke. 

I did NOT think our marriage would get so HARD after we had a baby. I married my best friend, and our relationship has been fairly easy. Having a baby has somehow shifted the dynamic. We both adore this sweet peanut, and when our attention is focused on the baby, all is right in the world. My husband is an amazing daddy, but together, we are in "roommate mode" right now. Sometimes, I'm so irritated at him for little things; we have lost the simple flirtation and easy conversation. All of our attention is being poured into this tiny human, and that doesn't leave much for us. Tell me I'm not alone.

Haven't many of us felt these exact feelings? I think if we're honest, we can all admit that connection IS hard after a baby. 

Your life looks a whole lot different now. Aside from the adorable newborn in your arms and a house full of cute baby clothes, you now have more distractions, different priorities, changed viewpoints, and increased responsibilities. 

This is a brand new chapter. Your relationship after baby will be different, but it will find a new “normal” again.  Don’t let the fear of change rob you of your joy - embrace it!  Your new normal can be even better than “how things used to be.”

Research shows that connecting in a few simple ways on a day-to-day basis can help sustain the health of a relationship while caring for a new baby. Here are a few tips to recap the video to help you and your partner THRIVE:⁣

Prioritize sleep.⁣

Chronic sleep deprivation increases anxiety, depression, and resentment. Being well-rested allows you to be the very best version of YOU.⁣

If you are struggling with your baby’s sleep, I have classes for you that can help. If your baby is sleeping well, but YOU need help, this blog is just for you. 

Express admiration.

It is so easy to miss the small things that your partner does well. Be looking for the good. Let your partner know that you appreciate those things about them and be specific.

Do things together.

I know that it can be hard to find time together when everyone is adjusting to their new roles. Spending time together could be as simple as taking a walk, fixing dinner, or cleaning up TOGETHER.⁣

Dedicate 5 minutes a day to really listen⁣.

Turn the television off, set your phone down, and look eye to eye. Ask “what was the best part of your day? What was the toughest part of your day?” Give it your all. It’s just 5 minutes!⁣

Never stop dating.⁣

This doesn't have to be an evening out. Simply planning to watch your favorite sitcom while sharing a bag of popcorn counts too.⁣ 

If a tricky bedtime is getting in the way of spending time together, please know my classes help get your little ones sleeping so that you can have time devoted to investing in each other.

Parents, I know that this season of your relationship after baby can feel tricky. You are not alone. I want you to thrive in parenthood and in your relationship.

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Fair skinned baby girl with bow on head and caption 'Sleep tips for the holidays!' African American baby swaddled tightly to his mother's chest Cara Dumaplin wearing jean jacket embroidered with the words 'tough as a mother' in script font Asian baby boy, standing in crib, arms reaching towards the viewer Happy African American baby sitting in a kitchen sink captioned 'Fun facts about baths.'