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Dear New Mama

Posted on . Last updated .

A headshot of Cara Dumaplin
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Cara Dumaplin

new mama sitting in a chair on the beach with baby on her chest

Do you have a brand new little one? New mama, I’m talking to you today. I want you to know, you’re doing it right. 

I’d love to be able to speak right to your heart. Would you watch this message from my heart to yours?

Let me say it again. I want you to hear it; I want you to see it in writing: You’re doing it right. You can’t fail at this. You’re giving it your all. No one. Truly, no one could do it better than you. 

Can I let you in on a little secret? That baby doesn’t know what he or she is doing either. You’re figuring it out together. You’re supposed to. It’s a journey that you’re on together. I just want you to quiet the noise and trust that voice inside you. 

Can we talk about your to-do list? I want you to focus on three things.

Take care of the baby

Take care of you.

Brush your teeth.

This first month is all about you adjusting to life with a new baby. I just want you to know that now is not the time to see how productive you can be. I want you to adjust. 

Now, your sweet baby may have some day and night confusion happening. That can be so common. I’d love for you to check this out:

I want you to know that I do have a newborn class for you. It will help you learn to calm a fussy baby, read your baby’s cues, and help you feel more confident. But this first month is all just practice. You can’t mess him up. You don’t need to worry about “bad” habits.  

You are doing wonderfully.

You are ENOUGH.

I want to tell you one more thing. If you’re not a crier and you find yourself crying a lot lately, this can be normal. It takes 40 weeks for those hormones to climb up and then they come crashing down in 6-8 weeks. You are not alone. Be gentle with yourself. Talk with your partner, your friends, or your doctor.

If you recently adopted or used a surrogate, I just want you to know that you’re doing amazing. I can imagine that maybe you’re feeling that it would be different if this baby grew inside you. I want you to know that you’re not behind. You’re not lacking anything. Every new mama and new parent is dealing with these questions and these feelings.

No matter how your baby was brought to you, I need to remind you. There is no better mama on the planet for that baby than you. There is no better daddy on the planet for that baby than you. No one could do it better. No one. You got this.


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