If you’re preparing for two under two (or you’re in the midst of parenting two under two), I wrote this blog for you. From tips for two under two to advice on handling naps and bedtime, I’m sharing realistic steps to help make life a little easier.
Before you dive in, I want you to know that I’ve been where you are. When my son Jace was 10 weeks old, I found out that I was pregnant. In that moment, I thought, “Can I do this?” And the reality was that, of course, we did it. It was hard, but we did it. Please know, if you’re in the tough phase, it truly does get easier. More than easier, it gets GOOD. Those boys are built-in best friends, and it’s the best thing to witness.
Tips for 2 under 2:
I’ve gathered tips from my own experience and those of families in the Taking Cara Babies community.
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Make sleep a priority. Help your older one become a strong sleeper before the new baby arrives. This will make your days and nights so much easier.
If you need help with sleep, know that my classes are all designed to meet your little one right where they are developmentally. My 5-24 Month Collection is the perfect tool for your soon-to-be big sibling. Think: 10-12 hours of sleep in the crib at night and predictable, long naps to help you get some time during the day.
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Have realistic expectations. Don’t expect to get a long “to-do” list done all by yourself. Focus on your babies and ask for help if you need it. You aren’t supposed to be able to do everything alone! Be direct and honest with your needs.
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Remember that your older child is still a baby. Bringing a newborn home will suddenly make your older baby seem so big, but developmentally speaking, they are still so young! Keeping this in mind helps keep your expectations in check.
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Say positive things aloud! It's easy to focus on negatives like being tired, not having a break, or having a messy house, but let yourself see the good too. And speak it aloud. This might mean celebrating the small things, instead of looking for big wins every day. This season will eventually pass. But right now, look intentionally for the sweet spots.
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Tend to the most crucial need first. This might mean you have to put a crying baby or toddler down safely in their crib for a minute so you can attend to the other child’s needs. That’s okay. You know your little one is safe, and you can take care of the more urgent need quickly.
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Prioritizing your own sleep is important too. If you have a partner, work together to share night wakings and childcare duties, allowing each of you to get some rest. If you have an opportunity, sneak in a catnap – even short bursts of sleep can make a significant difference in your energy levels. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, a night nurse, or a postpartum doula. Support can make all the difference in ensuring everyone gets the rest they need.
How to handle nap time with a toddler and a newborn:
When you have two under two, I know nap time can feel tricky. Here are helpful strategies for naps:
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Be prepared. When you’re helping one of your little ones to sleep, you’ll need a safe place for your other child to play. This might look like a play yard or gated baby area for your toddler, or you can use a bouncy seat or play gym for your newborn. I know this isn’t always possible, so if your toddler needs to be with you, have a quiet bucket of toys they can play with while still in your sight.
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Keep your older child in a crib. I know that it can feel tempting to move your toddler to a “big kid” bed so that your new baby can have the crib, but transitioning out of the crib too early is a big cause of toddler sleep struggles. Keep your toddler in a crib as long as possible, even if it means having two cribs in your house for awhile.
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Use a sound machine. If you’re worried about the sounds from one child waking the other, use a sound machine in both bedrooms to muffle the outside noise. You may even consider an extra sound machine outside each bedroom door.
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Have a short nap-time routine. A nap-time routine for your toddler can be short (think: change diaper, put on sleep sack, give a hug/kiss, place in crib) and still help prepare their body for sleep. Especially when you’re taking care of multiple children, it’s okay to make the nap routine short and sweet.
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Consider babywearing. It might be easier to baby wear your newborn for the nap while you take your toddler to the park, go for a walk, play with them, or even while you get your toddler ready for bed. Babywearing can allow you to give individual attention to your toddler while also keeping your newborn close.
Expert Tip: My Newborn Sleep Class is designed to help you find the balance between sleep in the crib and naps in your arms. When you have a toddler and a newborn, there will be times that you need to put your newborn down for sleep. Helping your newborn thrive on a flexible routine, learn to fall asleep independently, and sleep well in their crib or bassinet will be life changing and give you the time you need to connect with your toddler during the day.
How to do bedtime with a toddler and a baby:
The answer to bedtime with two little ones depends on how many adults you have home at bedtime.
If you have two adults home, you can divide and conquer. Whether that means each parent does the bedtime routine for one child or one parent does baths and the other handles reading stories is up to you. Find a rhythm that works and let this be a time where you can really work as a team.
If you have one adult home, you’ll need to be a little creative and see what works best for your family. Some toddlers love doing their bedtime routine and reading stories with a younger sibling. Others need the focused attention during bedtime. Let me break down some of the options for bedtime and baths:
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Baths: Consider bathing both children together if they both need a bath. If not, let your toddler bring toys into the bathroom to entertain them or bring in a blanket and let your newborn have some floor time.
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Bedtime timing: Stagger bedtimes so each child gets some one-on-one time (if possible). If that’s not possible, there’s no guilt or stress. This might be the perfect time to use a bouncy chair for your baby while you get your toddler ready for sleep or have a basket of toys for your toddler to use while you lay your newborn into the bassinet.
How do I prepare my toddler for a new baby?
It’s hard for most little ones under two to grasp the concept of a new sibling joining the family. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything! In the month or so before your new baby’s arrival, read books about new babies, start placing the new baby’s items around the house, and have baby dolls or stuffed animals with pretend bottles, diapers, etc. for your little one to explore. This preparation will set the stage for your toddler to welcome their new sibling into your house.
If you’re looking for even more tips, know that I have those in my blog on How to Prepare your Toddler for a New Sibling.
2 under 2 must-haves:
Here’s a list to make life with 2 under 2 a little smoother:
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Double Stroller: A good double stroller will help you get everyone from the car or your house to the next destination safely and easily. It’s a lifeline when you really just need to go for a walk to get out of the house.
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Baby Carrier: Baby wearing allows you to keep your new baby close while you have both hands free to care for your toddler.
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Play Yard or Gated Baby Area: A play yard can be a lifesaver to keep your toddler entertained and in a safe space when you need to care for your newborn.
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Safe place for your newborn: Whether it’s a bouncy chair or infant swing, having a safe spot to put your newborn for a few minutes while you care for your toddler is so helpful.
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"Big Kid" Gifts and Toys: Books about becoming a sibling, a special toy just for them, or their own baby doll items for taking care of the baby are all great options.
You can find all my favorite items here.
