Baby’s Bedtime Routine

You’ve probably heard that bedtime routines are an important piece of your baby’s nighttime sleep. Wondering why they’re important, when to start, and what to include? Let’s talk about it. 

Why is a bedtime routine important for babies? #anchor

Babies thrive on predictability and routine. Their little worlds are full of action and stimulation, but providing a consistent routine offers safety and security. 

A bedtime routine provides a transition between awake time and sleep time, cueing a baby’s brain that sleep is coming. Research⁽¹⁾ shows us that babies and children who have a consistent bedtime routine:

• are able to fall asleep more quickly.

• have fewer night wakings.

• are more consistent sleepers. 

A bedtime routine that includes special connection time between you and your baby also provides loving reassurance around sleep and can encourage a secure attachment.

When should I start a bedtime routine with my baby? #anchor

You can start a bedtime routine whenever you're ready. It’s never too early (or too late!) to start implementing a consistent bedtime routine with your baby or toddler.  

What are some examples of a baby bedtime routine? #anchor

Bedtime routines truly can be simple. Your bedtime routine does NOT have to be long or complicated. The most important thing about a bedtime routine is that you do the same things in the same order each night. That doesn't mean you have to read the exact same book or sing the same lullaby, but you can! It also doesn’t mean you have to give a bath EVERY night, but you can! 

Let me show you a few examples:

Bedtime routines in action#anchor

Check this out:

Here’s what a bedtime might look like with little ones of different ages; you can even see this family’s version with two parents or only one. I'd also love to show you a bedtime routine with twins!

Is it best to give a baby a bath at night?#anchor

I love a bath as part of the bedtime routine! Science actually supports that a bath before bed can help promote sleep! Here’s why: During a warm bath, blood comes to the surface of the skin. This is called vasodilation. When we get out of the tub, blood vessels are still open, so our body temperature drops a bit. This slight drop in core body temp promotes sleep for us and our babies! A bath at the end of the day (followed by a bedtime routine) helps cue a baby's brain that bedtime is near. This can be an excellent way to prepare babies for night sleep.  

But does that mean I need to give a bath EVERY night? You can, but you don’t have to.  Some families enjoy bath time every night, and for other families, this just doesn’t work best. It’s up to you! Taking the bath out of the sequence won’t ruin your bedtime routine. It’s the consistency after the bath that helps!

When should bedtime be?#anchor

Most babies (older than 4 months) come to a natural lull between 7:00-8:00 pm. This time is typically when little ones fall asleep the easiest and stay asleep the longest. Now, some babies may need earlier, and some newborns may do better with later bedtimes, but 7:00-8:00 pm is often that sweet spot.

We also want to make sure that your baby has a full wake window before bed. Being overtired or not tired enough at bedtime can make falling asleep difficult. How do you get a full wake window and hit that sweet spot bedtime?

First, let’s find your little’s one wake windows:

Then, know that you may need to wake your baby from their last nap of the day to get a full wake window and hit that 7:00-8:00 pm “sweet spot” bedtime. Use this to help:

Bedtime doesn't have to be at exactly the same time each night. A bedtime "range" of about 30-60 minutes is ideal. For example: 7:00-8:00 pm or 7:15-7:45 pm. (This allows for flexibility based on when the last nap ended!)

Need help with setting up your whole day so that you’ll hit that sweet spot bedtime? Did you know that I have sleep schedules for every age from birth through 4 years? You can find sample schedules, age appropriate activities, and so much more in my sleep schedules blogs! 

Should my baby ever have an early bedtime?#anchor

There are situations when an early bedtime (as early as 6:00 pm) is going to be helpful, or even necessary.

Here are some examples of when your little one’s last wake window may bring you to a bedtime between 6:00-7:00 pm:

• When you have a skipped or shortened last nap

• During a nap transition

• During a sleep regression

• If your baby is sick and isn’t able to handle a full wake window before bedtime

Is a later bedtime ever ok for a baby? #anchor

Yes, of course! Just like with early bedtimes, there are situations where bedtime will need to fall later than 8:00 pm. Let’s take a look at some:

• An evening event or activity led to a later bedtime than usual.

• Baby took an accidental nap in the car, and bedtime needed to be shifted.

• You need more flexibility around vacations or travels.

My baby cries during the bedtime routine every night. What can I do? #anchor

As babies recognize routines, experience separation anxiety, or go through sleep regressions they may cry when you enter the nursery or when you start your bedtime routine. I know this is so hard. Your baby is learning all about routines and what comes next. They also know that bedtime means separating from you. All of these things can increase the tears temporarily.   

So what do we do? 

1. Assess your baby’s wake windows. This helps ensure that your baby is not overtired heading into bedtime, which can lead to extra tears.

2. Change it up a little. It’s okay to stray from consistency when the bedtime routine feels challenging. Maybe this means you get baby dressed in a different room than you usually do, you try a lullaby instead of a book, or if one parent always handles bedtime let the other parent take a turn.

3. Spend fun time in their room during the day. Play on the floor, read books together, and have a little dance party in the middle of a wake window. This increases positive feelings about their room.

4. Find ways to increase your confidence and peace of mind surrounding bedtime. Sometimes our anxiety around bedtime can make our babies feel less at ease. Consider a baby sleep class to boost your own confidence around your baby’s sleep. 

Our bedtime routine seems perfect, but my baby still needs me to rock them to sleep. When do babies learn to fall asleep on their own?#anchor

Falling asleep independently is truly a skill. Some babies seem to naturally fall asleep on their own from the very beginning with little support, while others need help learning this skill.

For babies 4 months and younger, this is a skill we can practice. In my newborn class, I’ll walk you step-by-step through the strategies you need to work on falling asleep independently, set your days and nights up for success, read your baby’s cues, work towards longer stretches of night sleep in the crib or bassinet, and love the newborn stage. 

For babies 5 months and older, your baby’s ability to fall asleep on their own is a skill that you can help them learn through formal sleep training. The 5-24 Month Collection will give you a step-by-step plan to 10-12 hour nights in the crib while remaining emotionally connected. It will cover bedtime, falling asleep independently, night wakings, night weaning, early morning wakings, and naps through the first two years of life.